Surviving a long-haul trip with a baby

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We recently travelled with our 8 month old to Australia. It was a great idea that we had when I was still pregnant and once the baby came we started to think that we’ve made a terrible mistake! It’s hard enough dealing with a baby at home in your own space and now we must all trundle onto a plane, squished amongst other people trying to sleep and “have a relaxing flight” while dealing with not-so-quiet, not-so-keen-on-sleeping tiny human… it was something I really struggled to wrap my head around.

That all being said, we did it and we all survived and I’ve got some long-haul travel tips to share with you as a result!

Booking

  • If your baby is small enough, be sure to book bassinet seats. I think that they cater for up to 11.8kg. It’s an awkward setup for actual sleeping as it’s difficult to transfer a sleeping baby from your arms up into the bassinet without a glitch, but once he’s in and settled, you’re free!
  • If you’re booking bassinet seats, they’re often right by the galley. Book the seats furthest from the entrance of the galley as it can get quite noisy there and at night people are coming in and out, sending spotlights of blinding light onto your sleeping baby.
  • Use a good travel agent to make sure that you get the right seats, are checked in on time and that everything is booked correctly. It doesn’t cost any extra and takes away a whole bunch of stress. We use Nicci Hayden from Travel Counsellors and she’s great!
  • Allow a few extra days either side of your arrival at your destination and home to cater for jet lag. Don’t go back to work the next day (or few days) when you arrive home – that is a terrible idea.

Packing

I’m a super organiser. So packing is incredibly stressful for me because how do I know that I have everything that we might possibly need? My husband and I were both hit with a stomach bug just before we left and I was having sleepless nights about the baby getting it on the plane and dealing with that and running out of nappies and soiling his clothes etc. I worry too much! We had a 2 hour flight from Cape Town to Joburg and then a 2 hour wait before our long haul flight there which was 11.45min. The long haul flight on the way back was 14 hours. Qantas doesn’t allow carry-on baggage for an infant, but does allow a nappy bag for nappies and baby food. We had one nappy bag with all his food, bottles and cloths and used one of our carry-on bags for toys, extra clothes, toiletries etc.

Here’s what I packed for each flight for him:

  • 2 packs of wet wipes – 1 in his food bag and 1 in his nappy bag
  • Silicone bib for feeding
  • 4 bibs
  • 20 nappies (way too many, but I was thinking of a possible diarrhoea situation)
  • 2 changes of clothes (short sleeve and long sleeve baby grows)
  • 2 large muslin cloths
  • 1 baby blanket and his sleepy doo-doo (taglet)
  • 3 toys that make use of multiple activities, e.g. those soft and squishy baby books that have things to touch and crinkle and feel etc.
  • Toiletry bag with Panado, syringe, aqueous cream, Telement drops (a drop on the dummy helps him to suck it when he’s screaming his head off), saline nose spray, thermometer.
  • 8 pre-measured portions of formula. He didn’t need this many but I packed extra in case of delays etc. Formula containers are great because they save space. It’s difficult to predict how much milk and food he will need because you’re flying through time zones and the whole notion of breakfast, snack, lunch, snack etc goes out the window. I worked out that I should feed him every 3-4 hours, alternating milk and solids and that seemed to work out okay.
  • 6 bottles so that I didn’t have to wash any. On the flight there I only filled a few with boiled water, thinking that they might confiscate the water but they seemed to be okay with it, so I filled them all on the way back. You can also fill with boiled/filtered water on the plane.
  • 5 baby food pouches. We used the Woolworths ones as they’re the more natural and organic than the other brands. Again, he didn’t need this many but if a flight is delayed or cancelled you don’t want to be running around trying to find baby food. We discovered on our flight home that you can actually order baby meals and this would have been handy. It seemed like it was a little pack with a baby food pouch, yoghurt and juice at every meal that was served.
  • This one is key! A small roll-up changing mat bag inside his nappy bag. I packed this with just one nappy at a time, a tiny talcum powder bottle and a tiny wet wipes pack. I took this out each time I needed to change him so that I didn’t need to lug the whole bag with me each time we did a change and then put a new nappy in when we got back to our seat. Those bathrooms are tiny and awkward and this tip was a winner for me.

At the airport

You’re going to be running around at some point, no matter how organised everything is, so just accept that up front. You might have a poo nappy as you’re about to board and need to run off to sort that out quickly, or on arrival back to SA you will need to collect your baggage (even though you were told it was checked through to your final destination) and re-check it in after a delayed flight and there’s only one counter open with a queue to high heavens and you’ll need to run off to domestic departures and find someone to help get you to the front of the queue so that you don’t miss your next flight… you know.. that sort of thing!

Here’s how to make it all easier:

  • Get there early. If you have baby items to check in, like a stroller or a car seat, you will need to drop those off at the oversized baggage counter and that means an extra queue.
  • Check in your stroller. You don’t want to be lugging that around and it’s always a gamble as to whether you’re going to get it back as you leave the aircraft or if they’ve decided to send it on the baggage carousel or oversized baggage collection point. You shouldn’t need to worry about that.
  • Use a baby carrier. That way you have hands free and baby is contained and happy. If he likes to sleep in the carrier: bonus!
  • Wear layers of breathable cotton. You’ll sometimes be hot and sometimes be cold and a lot of the time have a baby attached to you or sleeping on you, so layers of breathable clothing really helps when you’re sweating on each other trying to keep a baby contained or asleep.

On the flight

  • Wear elasticated tights/pants that are easy to pull up and down with one hand. Even if you’re travelling with a partner, you may be in a situation where you need to go to the teeny tiny little toilet with your baby.
  • Don’t worry about what other people think. If your baby is screaming, he’s screaming and of course you’re going to do everything you can to make him stop, but you don’t need pressure from others added to the mix. Just ignore it. Most people are really understanding with babies on flights.
  • Introduce your baby. It helps to introduce your baby to everyone around him on the flight so they all go “aw sweet, what a cutie, we love him” before he potentially keeps them awake 🙂
  • If you’ve got an overnight flight, chances are that your baby is going to sleep through it all, hoorah! If it’s a day flight, you might have to accept that you’ll be entertaining a baby for a loooooooong time. Try to get him to sleep when he shows signs of being tired but also accept when he’s not going to sleep and just go with it. Keep him entertained with his toys. We put our little guy sitting in his bassinet with his toys for a while when we had had enough of trying to get him to sleep and just wanted to relax for a bit. Remember that it is temporary!

When you arrive

  • Get the baby into a routine as soon as you possibly can. If you arrive early morning, give him breakfast even if it feels like you just ate lunch. Get him to bed at the destination bedtime and go to bed early that night so that you get a few hours in before the midnight/2am wakings start.
  • Jet lag is a special kind of hell and you just have to go with it. We didn’t find any special tips for this (we’re on Day 6 and it’s getting better but we still don’t feel normal or well rested yet) other than to try and get him into the destination routine as quickly as possible. When he wakes up at midnight wanting to play for 2 hours, just go with it, play with him until he gets tired again and try and get back to sleep as quickly as you can once he does. Trying to force him into sleep when he is actually wide awake is just too frustrating for everyone. It will pass. It can take up to a week. We found that we had a few bad nights on arriving in Australia and are still dealing with it now coming back to SA.

And that’s all I have to share with you on this. I hope that it’s been helpful and if you’re preparing for a long-haul trip ahead – good luck, you’ve got this!

Tread lightly, breathe deeply and let nature take the lead – Farm 215

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In collaboration with Farm 215

We’re no strangers to weekend getaways and are always keen on the more secluded and farm-like stays, which often include accommodation that is fairly basic, self-sufficient and partially off the grid at times. Our latest getaway, however, took this to a whole new level of comfort, style and eco-tourism – to a most beautiful, sustainable destination in a private fynbos nature reserve in the Uilkraal Valley, just outside Gansbaai: Farm 215.

We don’t often think of the impact of our travels – not only the environmental impact but also the socio-cultural and economic impact that tourism has on an area. Spending time at Farm 215 and seeing what they have done and continue to do there has made me think about travel in a new light.

That all being said, no level of comfort has been damaged in the creation of this eco-friendly and sustainable space.

We stayed in the ‘Fynbos Suites’ which are secluded and private modern suites that make you feel like you’re just hanging out luxuriously in the middle of a fynbos farm.

 

Their sunsets are to die for – either from the restaurant, the 25m infinity pool, the suite’s bath or deck.

And most especially, what makes this place so unique is the immense vastness of protected fynbos. A most beautiful hiking trail had us breathing in the fresh, fynbos air – magical!

It was a perfect way to start off the madness of the silly season with a bit of nature and R&R. Quiet, peaceful and rejuvenating.

 

Tread lightly, breathe deeply and let nature take the lead.

 

Having a Baby? Here’s Your Hospital Bag Checklist

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Having a baby is quite scary. Getting pregnant, being pregnant, growing a healthy baby … it’s all a big deal and then the time starts to draw near when you need to think about getting the baby out. I found it completely overwhelming and terrifying. I intended to have a natural birth, missed the antenatal class that actually dealt with details of the birth (it overlapped with our baby shower) and was armed with Dr Google information. Our baby came 2 weeks early and it was a wild ride, ending with an emergency c-section after 13 hours of natural labour and a very drugged up new mom who felt like she needed to sleep for a week.

With all of the anticipation and uncertainty around birthing a tiny little human that you’ve made in your own body (it’s still a bizarre concept to me), you can at least be prepared for your hospital stay. Having something that is certain and planned can help to ease the anxiety that comes with this exciting time of a new mom-to-be’s life.

What I found:

A lot of the experience is a bit of a blur to me, but I dug out my research from when I was pregnant and freaking out about the birth and pieced together bits of my memory and created a downloadable checklist for you. It’s based on a 3 night’s stay in hospital in a private room. I’ve left some space for you to add some extra items that I might not have thought of or maybe didn’t find necessary but you do. (I’d add some earphones if you’re sharing a room, because I’m sure it can get pretty noisy and when you’re needing a nap you’ll want to be able to.)

Some notes:

  • I included nursing vests as I found these far more useful than nursing bras. The first 2 days I couldn’t fathom getting changed into pyjamas, never mind putting on a bra so those nursing tops with the built-in support and clip-off straps are amazing and comfortable.
  • I added in maternity panties and large cotton panties because those maternity panties are not amazing. When you get up for the first time after a c-section (I’m not sure if this happens with natural birth as well), there is a scary amount of blood and the maternity panties are good for this. Once that calmed down I wanted to be in normal panties – just make sure they are quite large and stretchy to be comfortable when you’re still so round and also tender.
  • Don’t underestimate the amount of maternity or maxi pads you’ll need. Rather have more than less. The hospital provided me with a pack in my welcome pack as well as some newborn nappies, a newborn hat and a few toiletries as far as I can remember.
  • Don’t bother with any nipple cream other than Lansinoh and remember your breast pads else you’ll stain your bra/top with the oils from the nipple cream.
  • I’ve been told that the squirt bottle and ice pad is a life saver after natural birth but we didn’t go the whole hog with that so I can’t tell if it’s true or not. Pack them just in case!
  • Juice was an essential item for me. I was insanely thirsty for some reason and I asked every visitor to bring me juice! It might have been the pain meds that had me so thirsty. The hospital does supply some juice and water, but I needed far more than they were giving me.
  • To be honest, I waited about 2 days before attempting to dress my baby. He was wrapped up so nice and snuggled in the wraps provided by the hospital that I didn’t feel the need to. Depending on what size you think your baby is going to be, pack a size smaller and bigger in case he/she comes out bigger or smaller than you expected! Our baby needed Premature sized clothes of which we had none.
  • The vaseline is necessary for baby’s first sticky black poo… it’s quite a shocker and the vaseline helps.
  • You’ll spend a lot of time trying to get the hang of breastfeeding and your baby will need to feed A LOT while there so a nursing cushion is a must for comfort.

And that’s it! There’s a lot that you are going to discover and figure out for yourself and a lot that you don’t see coming, but at least you can be prepared for your hospital stay 🙂

Here’s your checklist

Download the checklist here.

 

But how do you ‘mom’?

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It takes some getting used to – being called a ‘mom’. You’re just your normal self for all your life and then you’re another thing all of a sudden. Like you’re supposed to know and understand this new thing that you are and just ‘be it’.

Maternal instinct is a very real thing and unconditional love for another human being is also a very real thing, but it doesn’t make you automatically know all the ‘mom things’. You don’t always know what to do when the baby is screaming, you don’t know how to rearrange your life around the dysfunction of sleep deprivation, you don’t know how you’re keeping it all together in the chaos. You don’t know if everything you do is the best that is possible for your little human and for yourself and for your marriage and for your career and, and, and…

I finally feel like I’m in a space now where I understand it. A space where I just am a mom without trying to wrap my head around it. It doesn’t define me, but it is me. It’s been in me my whole life. My love for my baby has filled a space that I didn’t know was there to be filled.

I am still me, but now I am a better me.

I’m Luca’s mom.

How to visit a new mom

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I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while now – since I had my baby 6 months ago, in fact! I love to tackle those awkward topics that nobody really wants to talk about (did you read about the labour haemorrhoids?) and if you follow me on social media, you’ll know that I’m always keen to show honest real life, not just the highlights version. So let’s talk about how to visit a new mom.

It’s often a situation where a someone just doesn’t understand what a new mom is going through and their visit causes more stress than support, or it’s someone who knows that things are chaotic when a new baby is born and don’t know how to visit without it being awkward so they rather just don’t. So here’s the deal with visiting a new mom. Call it the unwritten (now written) rules.

  • Never just pop in. It’s a continuous cycle (24 hours, day after day after day without a break) of 2-3 hourly stretches with very little sleep within any of those. Every tiny moment where mom is able to be apart from her baby is used for things like showering, napping, going to the toilet or eating a meal – never all of those in one stretch, though, it’s a case of prioritising which of those is most important. Every hour of the day is precious and a pop-in when she’s planned a quick shower or a nap is not going to go down very well to say the least.
  • Bring something useful. Ask her for a shopping list of things you can pick up from the grocery store or pharmacy. She’s not able to get out to buy anything and someone offering to pick up a few things is a massive help. Offer to get the awkward things too, like nipple cream, or maxi pads – she will be so damn grateful!
  • Be flexible. Don’t be offended if she cancels with you last minute. She may have been able to create a little gap in the day to take a much needed nap and that is more valuable than pure, solid GOLD. There is no schedule that you can fit into, you just need to go with the flow and be okay with it.
  • Do something helpful. Wash some dishes, make tea, throw a load of clothes into the washing machine etc. Do so in a helpful way without making her feel like she doesn’t have things under control.
  • Be okay with boobs. If she is breastfeeding, you will see boobs at some point – guaranteed. Don’t be weird about it. It’s not easy and most of the time there’s a lot to do with a boob out and a crying baby and fumbling and that’s just how it’s going to be. Offer her a cup of tea while she’s feeding.
  • Wash your hands. Always wash your hands before going near the baby. Tell her that you’re going to wash your hands before you touch the baby so that she knows and don’t need to worry about any germs you may have brought in with you.
  • Bring food. She’s not going to have the time or inclination to cook and a meal that she can keep in the freezer and bring out whenever it’s necessary is hugely helpful! Do a bit of research into what’s okay for breastfeeding. Newborns have gas and colic and all sorts of nightmarish things that are exasperated by certain foods like spicy foods, onions, garlic, dairy…

Those newborn days are so hectic and the support and help is really so appreciated (as long as it doesn’t cause additional stress – that’s really so avoidable.) Now you know!

 

World Breastfeeding Week – It’s not all roses and that’s okay

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In light of World Breastfeeding Week, I’d like to share my point of view as one that is not often told by moms who stopped earlier than they imagined they would.

I’m here to tell you that it’s okay.

We all know how beautifully beneficial breastfeeding is on so many levels, but sometimes it just doesn’t work for you and that’s okay. As moms we hold on to so much guilt and anxiety around doing what’s best for our babies and at the end of the day, your decision is always going to be what’s best for your baby and for you, so there’s no need for the guilt.

I don’t miss the freezing cold middle of the night icing of my nipples to try and have a feed that doesn’t make me shoot through the roof in pain. I don’t miss the crying, the anxiety, the nipple shields, the expensive specialist consults, or the uncertainty as to whether my baby is getting enough.

We now have many beautiful moments of cuddle and bottles and snuggles and I’m totally okay with that.

Whether you breastfed for a week or a month or whatever, well done! What should be the most natural thing in the world isn’t always so and it’s a true labour of love.

 

I’d love to hear about your breastfeeding experience, if you are brave enough to share it!

The New Mom’s App Survival Guide

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As a brand spanking new mom who’s not in a circle of new mom friends, I’ve had to figure out a lot on my own – from conception to postnatal – and it’s been quite the ride! Thankfully, though, these days things are a lot easier with the digital help at our fingertips and I’m ever-so-chuffed with some of my discoveries that have helped me immensely along the way.

Lucky for you, I like you guys, so I’m sharing my ultimate New Mom’s App Survival Guide with you!

Conception

You’d think that this is the easy part, right? Well, often it’s not. There is such a short window period of opportunity for conception and things can start to get really complicated if you don’t fall pregnant right away.

I used an app called Clue (free) which tracks your cycle and lets you know when your fertile window is coming up and what’s happening to your body as it changes with your cycle. It also adjusts to you as it goes, so try using it for a while before you start trying to conceive so that it knows your cycle really well at the start.

Pregnancy

I was so excited to be pregnant and wanted to know EVERYTHING that was happening in my body and the little human that was forming inside. It’s mind-blowing to think about all that’s going on inside yourself in order to create another human life. MIND=BLOWN

I used two apps to track my pregnancy and my baby’s development in the womb:

BabyCentre (free)

What to Expect – Pregnancy (free)

Both give you week-by-week updates and have amazing videos of your baby’s growth through the stages of development in the womb. Baby Centre also has a chat forum which is handy and I tracked my growing belly every week with a photo in their “Bumpie” album.

Postnatal

Once you’ve got the baby… then what? What do you do with it (other than keep it alive) during it’s “awake time”. Am I stimulating my baby in the right way for his development? Who knows… I do know that there is only so much that cuddling and oogling can do. I then discovered BabySparks, which guides you through your baby’s development day-by-day, by providing activities for playtime that work towards meeting certain baby milestones. I love it. It gives me a list of activities for the day and I tick them off and feel like a good mom. It’s not free, though, but isn’t expensive either.

BabyCentre also has a Baby section for once your baby is born and this also tracks development and provides great articles tackling issues around breastfeeding, baby sleeping, growth tracker etc.

I also got a bit stuck with singing to my baby. I don’t know baby songs and make up my own (they’re amazing), but also came across Rockabye Baby albums on iTunes from one of the Instamoms I follow. Okay, this one isn’t an app, but it’s on your phone so I’m allowing it. It’s a whole bunch of albums of lullaby renditions of artists that we know and love. Pearl Jam for baby? No problem. I’ve personally been brushing up on my Bon Jovi tunes from back in the day (no judging, please).

 

 

Anything I may have missed? Drop me a line in the comments and I’ll have a look.

Our first weekend getaway with the baby love

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In collaboration with Blue Gum Country Estate

Just because life now includes a teeny, tiny little one, doesn’t mean that fun as we know to has to stop. If you’ve been following me on my social media accounts, you’ll know how much I love my weekend getaways and this is never going to change.

With our little guy at 9 weeks old, we packed our (now gazillion) bags and headed off for a last minute weekend getaway, starting off in Stanford at the gorgeous Blue Gum Country Estate.

We enjoyed our time there immensely. We stayed in a gorgeous Mountain View suite and spent a lot of the time lapping up the luxury of the king size bed with perfect cotton sheets, in our robes in front of the fireplace while deciding what to order for room service.


It’s kid-friendly, with a swimming pool and playground and we took our Little Luca on his first walking trail too!

The best news is that they’re running some winter specials so now is the time, folks… Winter doesn’t have to be boring, you know? Pack those bags and head out on an adventure with the promise of wine and a fireplace at the end of your road trip.

I’d say it was a success! Goodbye cabin fever, hello nature. We’ll be back, thanks Blue Gum 🙂

Expect to see some more posts around child-friendly stays in the near future…

 

Jungle Juice Recipe – For Breastfeeding Moms

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Breastfeeding mammas – here’s a jungle juice recipe! It’s a special concoction said to help hydrate you and stimulate lactation. It’s also delicious and refreshing.

I’m living on the stuff at the moment and at least my mind is at ease that I’m staying hydrated, calm and producing milk.

Recipe (fits in a 2L jug)
• 1,5 L boiled and cooled water
• 500ml berry juice
• 1 sachet blackcurrant Rehydrate 9available from pharmacies)
• 60ml blackthorn berry elixir (in the vitamin aisle at pharmacies)
• 10 drops rescue remedy (or more if your baby is a screamer like mine and your nerves are shot)
• 1 effervescent Cal-C-Vita

Drink it out of a wine glass to feel fancy, because there’s not a lot about early motherhood that’s fancy, let’s be honest!

What to expect once you’ve expected

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We spend so much time preparing for pregnancy and birth, but once that’s all done, then what?

So much happens to our bodies during pregnancy and labour/delivery and once it’s all over, we’re left with a bit of a mess, to be honest. The baby room’s all ready, you’ve had your baby bag for the hospital packed for weeks and you’ve stocked up on nappies and bum cream, but there is so much more that YOU need to be able to get through the few weird weeks after birth.

If you’re squeamish, stop reading here because I’m about to get all kinds of weird real with you.

I went through the natural birth process and then ended up having to have a C-Section as we started the pushing phase, so my experience is a bit of both kinds of birth and post-birth happenings.

Here’s my experience of what you can expect postpartum. It’s not meant to freak you out, but rather to help you make sure that you’re prepared for the looking after that you need after birth, so that you can enjoy your new baby without having to worry about how the hell you’re going to ask the next visitor to bring you more maxi pads.

The thirst

I’m not sure if it was from the painkillers and anti-inflammatories or from the breastfeeding, but the thirst was insatiable. You know the kind where water just won’t cut it after a while? Take some juice boxes with you to hospital and ask visitors to bring some for you too, it’s necessary!

The bleeding

I did not expect to bleed so much, to be honest. I bought 2 packs of hideous maternity pads thinking they were enough. They were not. Buy all the maxi pads in the world – you will be bleeding for a long time (some women up to 6 weeks) after birth, regardless of what kind of birth you had. Be careful when you get up for the first time and have someone help you – you’re likely to feel quite faint and lose a lot of blood in that one movement, which can be quite scary.

The baby blues

You might not feel the immediate overwhelming motherly love for the strange little screaming creature in your arms immediately. You’ve been through a lot physically and emotionally and your hormones are completely out of whack for a while. You may have a few days of feeling down instead of elated, this is okay. If it continues, it may be signs of postnatal depression so check up on those symptoms to be sure you don’t need treatment for that.

The night sweats

This took me completely by surprise. For some women postpartum, their bodies need to get rid of excess fluids and hormones for quite a while after birth and this results in night sweats. I would wake up for feeds in the middle of the night, freezing cold and soaking wet. Have a few pairs of extra pyjamas (that are feeding-friendly) on hand unless you want to be washing them every day.

The milk

Your breast milk doesn’t appear immediately. For the first few days you produce colostrum, which is sufficient to feed your baby initially, but he may get hungry and scream for real milk at some point. It’s just a waiting game then to see when your milk comes in.

The bowels

Well this is awkward. If you didn’t get haemorrhoids during pregnancy, you’re likely to get one or few during childbirth. This, along with constipation makes for a very uncomfortable “glowing” new mom. Do yourself a favour and make sure you have haemorrhoid cream and stool softeners ready and waiting. It’s hectic.

The nipples

They will hurt. Stock up on nipple cream from the get-go and apply that stuff all the time. It will save you. Don’t bother with anything other than Lansinoh cream. Also make sure you stock up on breast pads – there will be leaking and you don’t want to worry about that when you’re dealing with a hundred other things.

Oh gosh, I haven’t painted a very pretty picture, have I? The first few weeks after birth are hectic, so at least after reading this you are prepared for all these nasties and can just take them in your stride. This is the time we need to be enjoying our teeny tiny little humans while we can – they are so precious!