Who really knows who “they” are, but I feel that they should have told me a few things about the first few months of pregnancy. We hear very little about the first trimester (other than that there’s a big chance of morning sickness) and I think it’s because people are just trying to forget about it, really. Lol. Joking (not really). Perhaps it’s because it’s more often than not kept as a secret until the big 12 week mark when they’re feeling a thousand times better in any case?

Nonetheless, here’s what ‘they’ didn’t tell me that I wish ‘they’ did.

Your body is no longer controlled by you

Motherhood is really all about self-sacrifice, it seems. There are things going on that I just can’t do anything about. Morning sickness is not actually morning sickness, either. Whoever decided to call it that may have never been pregnant in their lives, ever. This person may have arguably been a man. For me, it was all day sickness. And not the kind that eases if you get it all out, but rather the kind that is a mild, underlying nausea that’s just enough to make you the grumpiest woman alive while trying to make it through each day alive.

Baby Gale don’t eat no kale

Food aversions are a real thing. I LOVE healthy food intensely, but during this time it was all about cheese and bread.  I now understand why expecting moms put on that extra weight whether they like it or not! Our digestive systems slow down to some bizarre snail pace and energy levels drop to what I would imagine would match someone in a coma.

Lying is much harder than you think it is

Especially when I had the patience of a (what has zero patience?) and didn’t have the energy to come up with stories as to why I didn’t want that wine, was exhausted 24/7, can’t ride my horse, didn’t feel like going out for dinner/cooking (2 of my favourite things) and felt sick most of the time. And we have to keep this up for at least 2 months! I wasn’t very good at it at all. I think our pregnancy ‘announcement’ wasn’t much of an announcement at all to most people 😄

You don’t actually feel pregnant

I don’t actually know what I expected, to be honest. I thought maybe I’d all of a sudden feel this intense maternal power or feel something happening in my belly (other than bloating and gas). That is not real life, ladies, sorry. There’s not much to “show” for everything that you’re going through yet, which makes it even more difficult. We decided to have an ultrasound at around 7 weeks just to be sure that the foetus was in the right place, had a heartbeat and was actually real! I’d highly suggest this. You can actually see the heartbeat at this stage and it helps to feel that this is all actually real!

You will feel human again soon

I woke up one day at around 12 weeks and felt like an actual human being again. I had so much energy that I baked cupcakes at 7am for breakfast. Thank the holy pope. Now my poor husband doesn’t get to lie around and sleep while I’m “woman-down”, he has to galavant around Cape Town with me again and try all my weird and wonderful healthy cooking experiments! Hallelujah.

Side note: Enjoy your tight-fitting clothes for now, the bump is coming SOON. Fast and furious.